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I’d Rather Walk – 5 Most Embarrassing Cars

Posted on: January 5, 2014 by Platinum Direct

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Sometimes the DNA and ideas that gave birth to such amazing works of art can go pear shaped. Either the car manufactures missed the memo on what the consumer wants or their design is just so far out there that we are left scratching our heads saying “What were they thinking?”

Here are five such vehicles where, even if George Clooney rolled up and offered us a lift, we’d tell him that we’d rather walk!

Nissan Cube

Looking more like a tissue box on wheels than a car, the (wrongly) named Nissan Cube is actually not a cube at all, but rather a hexagonal prism.

According to Car Connect magazine, its wide-set headlights make it look like a “bulldog in sunglasses”, while its ‘fridge style door’ rear window makes packing any cargo in the vehicle a tricky venture. In addition, its ludicrously un-aerodynamic design makes the Cube inefficient at the bowser as well as being susceptible to cross winds.

That said, the Cube is not a total loss. Motor Trend says that the Cube is a lively drive with a solid range of extras, at an affordable price. But even at a price tag of around $15,000, the Nissan Cube belongs on our list of ‘I’d rather walk’ cars.

nissan cube
CC by M 93

Smart Fortwo

The Smart Fortwo is the closest roadworthy equivalent to a dodgem car you are likely to find in production today. Standing at just 1.5m high and 2.5m long, the Smart Fortwo is smaller than a Mini and also comes in a coupe version.

Forget going for long drives to the mountains for the weekend in this car, critics say that the Smart Fortwo is underpowered, and lacks many of the standard features you’d expect to find in a car, including a radio and air conditioning (these are optional).

On the flipside, the Smart Fortwo is considered to be environmentally friendly, economic and easy to park. Consumer Guide says, “The Fortwo is an exercise in Euro-centric minimalism… it’s really more of a fashion accessory than practical daily transport.”

While we wouldn’t go so far as to call it a ‘fashion accessory’, it is perhaps the only car we know that could do a complete turn on a Milan runway in one go!

The Smart Fortwo starts at around $19,000.

smart fortwo
CC by velkr0

Hummer H2

We now move from the smallest car to the impossible huge with the Hummer H2. Indeed, nothing says, “I’m clearly overcompensating” like the H2.

FUH2.com describes the H2 as “the ultimate poser vehicle”, and apart from its transformer-like exterior, the poor Hummer hasn’t got much going for it. With its 130-liter fuel tank getting you only around 500km before the empty light flashes on, the fuel consumption of this glorified pickup truck is enough to make any environmentalist picket out the front of your house.

In addition, the interior is small and visibility is very limited. Motor Point reports a driver can’t actually see the front and rear corners of the car, which makes parking tricky. Furthermore, the magazine added that “buying a Hummer is like spitting in the face of common sense”, and for a price tag of $90,000 we can see why.

Hummer
CC by BruceTurner

Chevrolet SSR

Whoever said the “retro revival” was back, needs to pack up and go home. This abomination was designed to exploit the 1950’s ‘hotrod’ movement but unfortunately ending up looking like a UTE bred with a VW Beetle. Not pretty.

Reviewers have slammed the Chevrolet SSR for its low performance quality. Forbes called it “underpowered and comes with an enclosed pickup bed that tends to limit its practicality.”

An SSR can be bought for around $45,000, but why would you bother?

Chevrolet ssr
Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chevrolet-SSR.jpg

Suzuki X-90

The X-90 forgoes the utility of the SUV and the sleek design of a sports car to create a very strange monster. It has limited luggage space, a cramped cabin and the option to install a (rather ugly) rear spoiler.

Produced between 1995 and 1997, Suzuki soon realised it was time to drop the cross breeding all together.

The X-90 has the rather unenviable title of being the winner of Top Gear’s “worst car ever” award and if Brad Pitt rocked up in one of these, we would definitely tell him to shove it!

Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1996-1997_Suzuki_X-90_targa_01.jpg

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